Wednesday, August 14, 2013

Displaced 40something

Starting over is not a new thing for me.  I have moved across country twice, remarried once, have three children.  Each situation has required me to re-learn and adjust to my new environment and how I deal with things.  My most recent "starting over" was getting back into the workforce.  After an almost 14 year hiatus, in April of 2013 I started working again.  Small office, completely flexible to my desire to remain being Mom first, it was perfect!  At first, I was self-conscious and unsure of my abilities.  However, much like riding a bike, I found the wheels beneath me and enjoyed the ride.

Today I was reminded that God listens to everything, and sometimes answers the things you did not mean for him to answer.  Due to circumstances at the office, I was able to take some time off.  Although I'd only been working four months, I realized I had missed being able to be home and do whatever struck my fancy.  So the break was a welcome one.  When it was time to go back, Mav said he was kind of bummed because he liked having me home.  Heart strings tugged and I considered asking for another couple of weeks, at least until school started up again.  In true God form, today I was told that the position I held was sort of undefined at the moment.  The dynamics of the office had changed a bit, and what I was once needed for, I am now not.  Instead of making my boss uncomfortable, I told him that I had actually already considered requesting another couple of weeks off, and we agreed that would work well for both of us.  They need someone in marketing, something I know little about.  I am going to take some time figuring out if and how I might serve in that position, while the company defines that position and we reconvene to see if it is a fit.  Doors and windows.

Starting over, take 426.  Now what.  At 20something, starting over was fun!  30something, a fun challenge.  At 40something??  It's...odd.  See, at 40something your older, wiser.  While I could do anything, I do not desire to just do anything.  I could, and probably will, just suck it up and do something, just like the majority of people.

Side note to young people:!!!  Don't take a semester off, start and finish.  Are there people that do just fine with no college degree?  Yes.  But oh how I wish I had a degree on my resume!  I know what I can do, what I'm capable of and if I get my foot in the door I can sell it!  But potential employers might just pass me by because, let's face it;  I am a 42 (yes, that's my true age), "un-educated" woman that has not worked in 14 years!  Heck, one of the guys I worked with knew what WordPerfect 5.1 was...because he played on it when he was 4.  *Insert the "I feel old" look here*.

One thing my boss said to me was that he liked me, my personality, my bubbles.  I laughed.  How long have I tried to figure out how to market those things??  How on Earth can I make a living on my wit, sarcasm and bubbles?!!  I have yet to figure that out.  Seriously, if I had a penny for every time my sarcasm kicked in I would be very rich.  Alas, there is no market that I have found for my special brand of "Stephanie".

For a moment, and a very short one at that, I considered trying to be a Life Coach.  I hear about those all the time, and I really think I could do that well!  I mean, my husband can vouch for me, I can tell him what he is doing wrong and how to do it better as he hears it all.the.time!!  The downside to Life Coach is I am not sure people would pay much for a Life Coach that tells them to just top being an idiot.  Stop hoping life gets better and Make it better.  I think I would be more of a P90X Life Coach that kicks your ass and makes you throw up.  But you'd be ripped after!!

Yeah, so, here I am.  Not unhappy in the least, but definitely displaced and looking for that window.  God will show me in good time, I have faith.