Starting over is not a new thing for me. I have moved across country twice, remarried once, have three children. Each situation has required me to re-learn and adjust to my new environment and how I deal with things. My most recent "starting over" was getting back into the workforce. After an almost 14 year hiatus, in April of 2013 I started working again. Small office, completely flexible to my desire to remain being Mom first, it was perfect! At first, I was self-conscious and unsure of my abilities. However, much like riding a bike, I found the wheels beneath me and enjoyed the ride.
Today I was reminded that God listens to everything, and sometimes answers the things you did not mean for him to answer. Due to circumstances at the office, I was able to take some time off. Although I'd only been working four months, I realized I had missed being able to be home and do whatever struck my fancy. So the break was a welcome one. When it was time to go back, Mav said he was kind of bummed because he liked having me home. Heart strings tugged and I considered asking for another couple of weeks, at least until school started up again. In true God form, today I was told that the position I held was sort of undefined at the moment. The dynamics of the office had changed a bit, and what I was once needed for, I am now not. Instead of making my boss uncomfortable, I told him that I had actually already considered requesting another couple of weeks off, and we agreed that would work well for both of us. They need someone in marketing, something I know little about. I am going to take some time figuring out if and how I might serve in that position, while the company defines that position and we reconvene to see if it is a fit. Doors and windows.
Starting over, take 426. Now what. At 20something, starting over was fun! 30something, a fun challenge. At 40something?? It's...odd. See, at 40something your older, wiser. While I could do anything, I do not desire to just do anything. I could, and probably will, just suck it up and do something, just like the majority of people.
Side note to young people: Go.to.college!!! Don't take a semester off, start and finish. Are there people that do just fine with no college degree? Yes. But oh how I wish I had a degree on my resume! I know what I can do, what I'm capable of and if I get my foot in the door I can sell it! But potential employers might just pass me by because, let's face it; I am a 42 (yes, that's my true age), "un-educated" woman that has not worked in 14 years! Heck, one of the guys I worked with knew what WordPerfect 5.1 was...because he played on it when he was 4. *Insert the "I feel old" look here*.
One thing my boss said to me was that he liked me, my personality, my bubbles. I laughed. How long have I tried to figure out how to market those things?? How on Earth can I make a living on my wit, sarcasm and bubbles?!! I have yet to figure that out. Seriously, if I had a penny for every time my sarcasm kicked in I would be very rich. Alas, there is no market that I have found for my special brand of "Stephanie".
For a moment, and a very short one at that, I considered trying to be a Life Coach. I hear about those all the time, and I really think I could do that well! I mean, my husband can vouch for me, I can tell him what he is doing wrong and how to do it better as he hears it all.the.time!! The downside to Life Coach is I am not sure people would pay much for a Life Coach that tells them to just top being an idiot. Stop hoping life gets better and Make it better. I think I would be more of a P90X Life Coach that kicks your ass and makes you throw up. But you'd be ripped after!!
Yeah, so, here I am. Not unhappy in the least, but definitely displaced and looking for that window. God will show me in good time, I have faith.