Friday, June 8, 2012

Lucky Enough

A friend told me, "If you're lucky enough to live on the lake, you're lucky enough".  How true I am finding that be.  Though, honestly, I think being blessed is more accurate.  Nothing in my life has happen by chance.  My life has purpose, direction, all by the grace of God.

Rewind to a year ago.  There was a different dream, we wanted to own a home.  Better schools, not paying someone else to live in "their" home.  We wanted something we could call our own.  A dream began, and it was an exciting time.  Following steps that were laid before us, we started to build the home of our dreams.  It was a tall order, very exact.  Must be near good schools, nice neighborhood, the ability to accommodate six kids when needed, a nice kitchen...It all fell into place, and a journey began.

Now, in the event you have never built a home, it is no small task.  Two people, two different visions, it's...interesting.  "If you can get through building a house together, you can get through anything", my mother said.  At times, I was sure at least one of us would get through...but bets were on who would make it out alive.  I learned patience, or better, how to have more of it.  However, I am pretty sure MJ would scoff at that, but he's not here to confirm or deny that...thankfully.  We did a LOT of compromising, this for that.  How important is this to you?  Is it worth giving up that?  It was a long process, but we got through it.

Everything was moving along just fine...until.  To some, it would seem like no big deal, but, we are not "some", more specifically, I am not "some".  I am me, and there are things I do not budge on.  Our journey came to an abrupt halt when the stone on the front of the house we were building, did not match the vision I had.  At first, I mulled it over, tried to look past the "minor" difference.  But then, I began to realize, it was not a minor difference.  It was a HUGE difference, and darn it, I didn't like it.  So I prayed.

Judges, chapters 6-8, tells the story of Gideon and the fleece.  It is one of my favorite stories, you should read it.  I am not big on asking God to prove Himself to me,  but there are times when I need Him to be clear.  I need a sign, something that is not questionable.  This "dream home" was seeming to crumble, or, my anxiety was getting the best of me, and the change was too much.  I was unsure if I was being irrational and unreasonable, or if I was being shown that there was another path we now needed to take.  So, I laid my fleece upon the floor, and asked God for my answer.

The answer I was given was to walk away from this dream.  At the time, it was also to walk away from any monies we had put down to secure said dream, which was absolutely the hardest thing for me to do.  But when you ask God for a specific direction, and He shows you, don't question it.  So, with my faith in hand, MJ and I canceled the contract on the "American Dream".  As a side note, they gave use back our earnest money IN FULL...after a bit of persuasion from me...Pure will and determination, when I has it, look out!

One of the main reasons for the move, actually the reason for the move, was to get the boys into better schools.  School was out in two months, summer on the way, and we were back to square one.  I madly searched for homes, cursed myself for throwing away all the information about which schools were "the best", and began to slowly panic.  The up side to going through all of this, was that MJ and I are now, relatively quick on coming together in our thoughts.  Rent or buy?  Considering the time crunch, and our pickiness about a home, we decided to rent.  With that comes it own set of challenges.  Good schools, or what I deem good, are in expensive parts of town...and expensive parts of town have high rent.  And high rent on a medium budget, sometimes don't jive.  More praying.

MJ was sitting in bed, "Hey Baby, what about this"?  It was a four bedroom, two bath home for rent, in our budget, near Lake Travis.  It was an ad on Craigslist, a week old no less, and I though, yeah right.  It's either gone, or a scam.  For kicks, I told MJ to call the number, which he did, and left a message.  I expected nothing, no, I expected to never hear back from anyone.  A week or so later, MJ got a call!  Someone had already shown interest...but it fell through, were we still interested?  Still not getting my hopes up, we headed out to give the place a look.

Sometimes, what you want and what you need aren't the same thing.  When I compare this house to our "dream", it's no comparison.  But, as I type this out on the deck, looking at the lake, hearing the birds sing, and the boats having some morning fun, I can't help but think "Life is good".  The endless boxes have been whittled down to several...the kitchen is stuffed to overflowing.  I am still looking for the darn sheets for Maverick's bed!!!  But in the last week, we've pulled together and created a home.  We've had friends over more in this week than we did in the 3 years at the other house.  And did I mention the lake??  There is a dock we have access to, and now that we've figured out we can DRIVE down instead of walk...I've heard owls, seen scrub jays and humming birds.  A deer wandered by in the early morning as I sat on the deck.  We have target practice daily, which the boys love.  You can see the stars at night, the storms roll in and the breeze is constant.

"If you're lucky enough to live on the lake, you're lucky enough".  I am not lucky, I am blessed.  God has a plan, and when I let Him, things just fall into place.  It may not be perfect, but what is perfect?  Home is where the heart is, and I can say with confidence, all of our hearts are here.  If the boys have said it once, they've said it a million times, "I like our new home".  And if you have an 11 year old boy, you know how precious those words are.  I have finally found a place to relax, I laugh at how slow I drive now.  I enjoy going to the store because I cross the bridge below the dam in route.  It's a sight that hasn't gotten old.  People fly by me, rushing to get wherever it is they need to go, and I think "But you're here...why rush"?

This feels like home.  I've not felt at home for five years, I was always waiting for what was next.  This is what is next, and I intend to enjoy every second of it.  My most pressing moment is what time we should head down to the dock, how is going to come out, do I have enough sun screen?  This is where I needed to be.  A place to have my family, to enjoy our time together.  To have a place friends can come and relax, bbq, drink a beer or three.  Let the kids roam free without worry.  This is how life should be, anywhere, not just on the lake.  But, MAN, does the lake make it better!!