Myth Busters, Bible Version

Myth - God will never give you anything you can't handle.

Truth - Oh yes He will!!

The Good News:

No temptation [regardless of its source] has overtaken or enticed you that is not common to human experience [nor is any temptation unusual or beyond human resistance]; but GOD is faithful [to His word - He is compassionate and trustworthy], and He will not let you be tempted beyond your ability [to resist], but along with the temptation He [has in the past and is now and] will [always] provide the way out as well, so that you will be able to endure it [without yielding, and will overcome temptation with joy].  -1 Corinthians 10:13 (Amplified Bible)

For the last week, I've been sick. "The Texas crud" my ex-mother-in-law used to call it. I guess it's really just a common cold? But it feels a lot more like crud! For me, it starts turning into bronchitis quickly, I can't hear because of the fluid in my ears, it's...unpleasant. On top of that, Monday I was stung by a wasp (may he rest in pieces). My ring finger on my left hand turned into a little sausage, was red, and hurt like the dickens!!! So, it does suffice to say, I've been a bit miserable.

There probably isn't a better time for the enemy to start his attacks, is there? Physically, I was managing, so the enemy took it up a notch, he stated his attacks on my emotions. I really loathe when he does that...

A strange thing has happened to me over the last year or so...I don't often dream. It's not that I dream but don't remember, it's that if I dream, I don't even remember I did. When I sleep, my brain just turns completely off. It's something I'm actually very thankful for! About a month ago, I did have a dream, about church, it was funny and I do wonder how it "got through".

Well, somehow another dream got through this week. It was much less funny. The dream itself was not unpleasant...it was of me being friends with someone. The unpleasant part was whom I was being a friend with. I could probably spend hours, maybe just minutes, analyzing this dream. Why was it her of all people?? But, that's not what this is about.

Upon waking, this dream lingered and turned into a series of "why" questions:

• Why would someone do that?
• Why isn't there a "Woman's Code" or something?
• Why did I come out as the bad guy?
• Why doesn't anyone ask how I'm doing?
• Why, why, why? (It's a pretty long list...)

When the whys first started I stayed on top of them. Humans, they aren't perfect, love them anyway. Just because I wouldn't do it, doesn't make me "better", that's judging. Then the thief came to steal, kill, and destroy. "Because you are worthless", "because no one cares", he said.

That's when I made a fatal mistake. You see, I had a list of things I needed to get done and there was a finite amount of time to do them. "Those are lies, I know that", is what I did do combat the enemy. See, this is where the myth comes in...As my day progressed, the "intrusive thoughts", as I call them, kept on a comin'. But I was so focused on what I needed to finish, that I overlooked what I really needed to do. And, in reflection, I guess that's what the enemy was banking on.

My body was already weak from being sick and here I was pushing it to do more. My soul was hurting, but I didn't have time for that! So I kept forging ahead, blindly. In doing this, I disconnected my spirit from it's source of life. This wasn't willful indignation...it was believe the myth..."God won't give me anything I can't handle".

By late afternoon/early evening, I was slammed by the enemy. Don't every think the enemy isn't paying attention, he will kick you hardest when you are at your weakest. But...I didn't have time to be weak! I had plans, and I kept focusing on them, continuing to believe the myth. "Chin up, woman! Shoulders up, head high, fake it 'til you make it". All lies, and they don't even work.

It wasn't until around midnight that I was finally brought to the end of me. Broken, defeated, bitter, lonely, hopeless, and rejected, I did what I should have done nineteen hours prior. I cried out to Jesus. I cried out all the questions, the whys, that had no answer. Instead of pushing the pain on down the road, I just stood in it.

"He heals the brokenhearted

And binds up their wounds [healing their pain and comforting their sorrow]]

- Psalm 147:3 (Amplified Bible)

Let me wrap up this myth for you as clearly as I can:

I believed this myth all day; "God won't give me anything I can't handle". Ha, what a lie from the pit of hell. God knew I couldn't handle this! Even I knew that! It's why I kept not stopping; I kept pushing it out of my mind until I couldn't any more. Not thinking about something is NOT handling it!!! Let me repeat that...not thinking about something is not handling it.

One of the things I avoid the most, as I'm sure most people do...is feeling pain. I mean, seriously, who wants to feel pain?? I have become an expert at not feeling pain. It reminds me something my Papa used to say: "Does it hurt when you do that?", I'd answer yes. "Then don't do that!", he'd say. He usually applied this to a physical hurt...but I applied it to all hurt. It is painful to remember the hurts, so I've just learned to not think about them. Put them in a nice little box on a shelf way back in the corner.

But...that's how I handle what God's given me, and as you see, that was a craptastic plan yesterday, no? I'm fairly certain that isn't the plan God wanted me to follow. So...what is the plan? That seems to be the million-dollar question today, for which I have no clear answer.

For starters, I need to stop pretending "I got this", when clearly I do not. My heart is broken on so many levels, buy so many people, that...it's overwhelming. I think I need to address each and every one of these people (in my journal I mean). Instead of just not thinking about the painful things, I need to face them. Grieve the loss of friendship, the betrayal, the shattered dreams. Not a "Pity, party of 1". But of "Brokenheartedness, party of 2". Let God heal my pain and bring me comfort in my sorrow; to do that I must feel it and be in it. Trusting that my God is faithful, and it will not be forever…Only until it brings Him glory and beauty out of the ashes.

I Am Not Worthy, I Am Loved!

I Am Not Worthy, I Am Loved!

Hebrews 12:29

…for our “God is a consuming fire.”

This season of my life is one of fire.  This little light of mine is blazing, it’s exciting and sometimes a little scary.

Let me take you back about 40 years to probably one of my first vivid memories.  I’m standing in my bathroom, looking into the mirror.  I see the little girl in the mirror, blonde disheveled hair, pudgy little cheeks, and a welt developing under her right eye, turning from red to a blue-green-blackish color.  Tears brimming, but a fierce look on her face.  I remember the feelings of that little girl; a bit confused, a bit sad, but determined!!

You see, that little girl, Stephanie Ann, had just been popped in the face with the butt of a BB gun.  ~Gasp!!~  How horrible!!  Nah, not really, it makes me chuckle and smile now.  I was on fire then too, just been out shining my little light and sharing the love of Jesus with my neighbor.  Apparently, my delivery of salvation was more than she wanted to hear?  So she rejected my words and put a period at the end of it with my very first black eye.

I could continue down that path; sharing the twists and turns of my life that molded me into the woman that stands before the mirror now.  That story will have to wait for another day…I want to talk about the woman in the mirror now.

My morning time with God now includes Jesus Calling, by Sarah Young.  I love how she’s written the devotionals; they are like personal love letters from Jesus.  I can feel his loving arms wrap around me as I read the words.

This morning the letter began with “This is a time of abundance in your life.  Your cup runneth over with blessings.”  Now, honestly, I kinda balked at that.  Said out loud, “Ok, I’m just gonna have to take your word on that, Jesus”, and just kept rewriting the love letter down in my journal (I like rewriting things, it helps me internalize what I’m reading).  It talked about “plodding uphill”, I definitely related to that!!  Then it told me I was now in lush meadows (??what??), that I’m to enjoy the ease and refreshment (??double what??).  Then it talked about things that made way more sense:  guilt, not deserving to be so richly blessed.  Yeah, now that’s what I’m talking about!

After each love letter, there are relevant scriptures, I write these down too.  One stuck out, probably one of the first verses I memorized as a child.

John 3:16

“For God so loved the world (me, Stephanie Ann) that He gave his only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.”

He had me at “so loved”, I’ve known that for forty-one years now!  Recently I was able to go back to the very place I professed my faith in Christ.  I saw the exact spot I told my mama and daddy I needed to go down to the pulpit.  The baptistery was exactly the same, and I could recall exactly what it looked like as I walked down into the water that would represent my sins being washed away.

There is something I’ve learned, and fully believe with every ounce of my being, that nothing that is put before me is by chance.  The importance of what is before me varies, and I probably over analyze a little too much?  So I had to go back to the beginning and reread “This is a time of abundance in your life”.

“Ok, God, what are you trying to tell me here?” because this has been a difficult year/month/week!!

Super Brain kicked in, love when it does that (most of the time…), and being the eternal optimist I am (and probably a LOT of help from the Holy Spirit) all of my struggles started turning into blessing!!  Perspective is everything.

This has been a difficult season of my life.  It seems like a never ending cycle of getting knocked down and getting back up only to get knocked down again.  And that’s not a pity party, it’s just life!  But…it’s a time of abundance.  I am loved so much that Jesus came to earth knowing he would suffer, be persecuted and crucified!!  If God was willing to give his only Son for me, even though I don’t deserve it, then He must be giving me struggles for a reason too, right?

Perspective is everything.  When I looked at that woman in the mirror, she is confused, a bit sad, but determined!!  She is on fire!! I was promised I would be baptized with the Holy Spirit and fire, remember?  And, I mean seriously…how can one think that being baptized with fire is in any way easy??  Of course it’s going to be difficult!  But when a potter takes an ugly lump of clay and works it into a vase, it’s really just turned into ugly clay with a shape.  It’s not until that piece of ugly clay is put into a kiln; and through the firing process becomes beautiful.

My blessings are in my struggles!  Yes I have been knocked down, and every time I get back up; not because of my own strength but because my path has brought me to a place that I know my feet will fail!  It is only by the grace of God that I have made it through.  He has carried me when I couldn’t take another step forward.  He has showed me that even though I am a sinner and I am not deserving of His love; He finds pleasure in giving it to me anyway!  O God, how great you are!

Through some of the most difficult times in my life, to date, I have leaned into Him.  My spirit has been renewed; the Holy Spirit is firing it.  It’s exciting and a little scary at the same time because it’s stirred up that four-year-old little girl’s determination to share the love of Jesus Christ.  And quite frankly, I don’t really want anymore black eyes.  Maybe I need to tweak my delivery some?  But really, all I want to do is run around and give everyone I see in pain a big hug and tell them JESUS is the answer!!  All that fear and pain you carry, He wants you to give it to Him!  Let Him carry your burdens so you can be filled by his over abundant love and peace.  He will give you rest and all you have to do is call out to Him.

It really is just that simple.  But I know how difficult it is, there have been dark days where all my hope is gone.  There have been days where all I could do was say “Jesus, I can’t do this anymore”…and then…there He is, right next to me, lifting me up in his loving arms, bringing me comfort only the Father can.

This is why I sing praise to Him.  This is why I say, “God, you are worthy!!” because I know I am not.  I don’t deserve his love, I can’t do enough to earn his love, but He loves me with no limits, I don’t have to earn it, He gives it to me and wants me to receive it!  For that, I am so grateful.  For that, I want to be his hands and feet.  I want everything I do to bring glory to Him.

Thank you, Father, for loving me even when I’m an unappreciative brat!  Forgive me when I feel I am owed your blessings, because I know if I got what I deserved some days I would come up empty and lost.  Let your love and grace pour over me so I may pour it out to others.  Help my delivery be one that is humble and only gives glory to You.  Amen.

It's Okay To Be a Woman

Part I:

It's Okay To Be a Woman

Recently, I started another book study.  To this point, my studies have been about me, how to love me, how to pray strategically, how to discern the Voice of God.  This journey started a little over a year ago, and honestly, it has been one of the hardest yet most rewarding journeys I've been on to date.

When this journey began, I had no real idea where it would lead.  What I wanted was to know me, and more important than that, I wanted to know God.  Not just understand God, or understand His Work.  I wanted to have an intimate relationship with God, the kind I had when I was a child.

My favorite song as a young girl was "This Little Light of Mine".  I always felt that little light, always.  As I grew up though, that darn bushel kept hiding my light.  That little light still burned, never went out, but that bushel suddenly became a safe place for me and my light.

In March of 2015, that bushel was lifted!!  To God be the glory.  While that little light didn't burst into a giant flame...it was now free of its hiding place.  That "safe" place, that stronghold, was cracked, big time!!  My soul was on fire...and I had no idea that soon, it would be ablaze!

So finally, light burning brightly, me confident in the woman God designed me to be, I decided to branch out, find a book that takes me out of my comfort zone...and boy did I find one!!  MOTIVATING YOUR MAN GOD'S WAY:  Discovering One Work That Energizes Your Husband to Love, by Dr. Emerson & Sarah Eggerichs.  Within the first few pages of this book, I knew I needed to share this experience, this new level of understand about the woman God designed, and commanded, me to be.

I feel the...need...to make a few caveats:

• This post is specifically to Christian wives, though it's not intended only for Christian wives.
• This post will have Biblical truths which are not my opinion or interpretation.
• This post will have my opinion and interpretation.
• This post will absolutely, without doubt, make a feminist not only balk, but also completely reject most of it, and very possibly become offended.
• This post is not for husbands, of any variety.  However, it is entirely possible some of it, if not all of it, resonates and even inspires them to give me a virtual "high five".
• This post is about my personal conviction to becoming a godly woman.
• This post may not pertain to you.  So if I say "we" and you don't fall into that category, I ain't talking to you.

Ok, now that I have that out of the way, I am going to continue with not one thought as to how someone is going to perceive this.

Fellow wives, we are doing it wrong.  We are going at this marriage thing from the absolute wrong angle.  And, get this, we are committing a sin against God!! ~insert "oh my" face here~

Wait.  WHAT??  What did I just say???

Yep.  I said it.  We, us wives, are sinners.  We are being disobedient to God in what he commands us to do and be.

(Pause for shock and horror).

(Pause again for you to re-read what I just claimed).

(Pause, yet again, to give you time to pray and welcome the Holy Spirit into this "conversation").

So, before I get straight to the punch, I find it important to lay the ground work.  Let me give you a picture of how I (important personal pronoun there) view society as we live in it today.

Prior to August 18, 1920, women did not hold the same rights as men.  I suppose one could say we were oppressed?  I suppose it could also be seen as if we were forced to submit to men.  Several very brave women and a few male supporters held the first women's rights convention in 1848.  Two years later, in 1850, the very first National Women's Rights Convention was held in Worcester, Massachusetts.  For seventy years, 70!! years, some amazing women did some amazing things to change the face of history.  I thank them.

As most ideals do, the direction of this movement changed.  While I (see that personal pronoun again?) do see the good in change, I can also see where it becomes...misdirected.  There now seems to be a certain level of militancy towards forcing society to declare, and agree, women are equal to men.  Not only in the eyes of the law, but in the eyes of pretty darn near everything.

Now, here is my first line of thought that could easily be rejected and dismissed.  While, I do agree, that women deserve every right under the law that is (was) freely given to men.  I do not, however, agree that we are equal to men.  Hold on, hold on, don't get your panties in a bunch!  There will be plenty of time for that.  What I mean is, pound for pound, women are not created to be like men, therefore what we do equal will never be equal to what a man equals.  It's very similar to comparing flowers to car parts.  Their basic functions are just different.  If you have an issue with that, I suggest you take it up with God.  I'll also point out, in case you've forgotten in the moment, God loves us all equally.  He views our sin equally.

There seems to be, in my observation, a desperate need for some women to feel they are equal to men.  Honestly, I don't understand that need in the least.  I mean, why??  In my logic, I'm not a man, so...it doesn't even occur to me to compare myself with a man.  Outside of the incredibly obvious outward differences, there are some pretty vast differences in our inner workings as well.  Not only do I acknowledge that my physical attributes are completely different, my very nature is completely different!!

For example:

• While I've often thought I'd like the convenience of writing my name in the snow, or not have to, in desperation, find a tree and triple check there is NO ONE even remotely able to see behind said tree...I would be completely unwilling to give up my ability to carry and birth children.
• Without hesitation or doubt, I do.not.ever. want, nor desire, the ability to fart and analyze the smell.  Even more, I never want my friends to be OK with sharing their farts with me!  Ever.
• I love and embrace that, by nature, I am peaceful.  While I will, and can, protect and defend, I'm most happy when I can just love and laugh.  I don't perceive things by level of threat.
• It is a blessing that I do not feel pressed to perform, pursue, provide, or protect.  Do I want to do those things?  Of course.  But the feeling of it being my soul obligation is lacking.

These are just a few things I think of when I consider being "equal" to a man.  I don't want to be a man!  I like being a woman!!  I am thankful I am a woman because men don't make sense (to me, as a woman)!!

Genesis 2:18  "The LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him".

So, here God had created Adam, then realized "Hmm...maybe it's not good for him to be alone".  Now, let me tell you, as a mother of three boys...It is NEVER good for them to be alone!!  Not alone by themselves, and certainly not alone together!  I've been privy to watching grown men be alone..."Hey y'all!!  Watch this!!".  It almost never ends well.

Adam went through all the creatures God had created, and not one of them fit the bill.  (Genesis 2:19-20).

Genesis 2:22-23  "Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.  The man said,  “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman’, for she was taken out of man".

Out of all the other creatures, Adam chose this one to call woman.  Taken from his own flesh, created to be his helper.  You catch that??  Doesn't say to be his servant...it says helper.  If we focus on this word, helper, and stop applying our own feelings of inadequacy, it may make the pill I am about to share with you a bit easier to swallow.

Before we get to the pill, let me take a moment to address something I find important in what I just said.  "Stop applying our own feelings of inadequacy...", this is something I struggle with.  Something I've always struggled with.  There is a social "norm", a worldly definition of what makes us "good", acceptable women.  I had, and have, some pretty amazing women as role models...Women that raised me, influenced me, gave me a picture of what I wanted to be.  Then, of course, there's societies model.  In my esteem the societal model is of much less value, but really can have a bigger impact because we see it every.single.day.  This fictitious model is so utterly unrealistic sometimes it makes me angry.  If anything should be banned, it should be this unattainable image of what makes a "good" woman.  The negative impact it has on women, starting as young girls following us on into adulthood, is staggering.  As if we aren't hard enough on ourselves, we now have lies coming from every direction that support our own feelings of inadequacy!

That's exactly what they are, lies from the pit of hell.  It wasn't until I decided to reject these lies, and start seeking the woman God created me to be, that I began to see things from a different light.  First, I had to learn about the woman God created me to be...positive and negative qualities which make me who I am.  Once I saw who I was, I began to love that who!...not only celebrating the positive, but embracing the negative.  I highly recommend a book, Meet the New You:  A 21-Day Plan for Embracing Fresh Attitudes and Focused Habits for Real Life Change, by Elisa Pulliam.  It took me way more than 21 days!!  But the impact of this book really was life changing.  Not only did this book show me, in fact, that God designed me with purpose, but it motivated me to start liking that woman.  To find and claim that purpose.  To stop looking outwardly for acceptance, and stand fully in the grace of God.

1 Corinthians 15:10  "But by the grace of God I am what I am, and his grace to me was not without effect.  No, I worked harder than all of them - yet not I, but the grace of God that was with me".

Wives, it is of utmost importance that we discover the woman God created us to be.  This woman absolutely will.not. look like any other woman you know, have see, or have heard of.  It is not "one size fits all" kind of thing.  It is unique and specific to you, just like your fingerprint.

If you don't know that woman, find her.  When you meet that woman, embrace her, love her.  Know that she is a daughter of the One True King!  Then, submit that woman to Christ.  Let HIS Holy Spirit consume you.  Trust me, believe me, when I say:  If you do this, what I'm about to share with you will flow out of you so easily and readily.  You may even look forward to the challenge (because yes, it will be a challenge).

Above all the things I've discovered on my journey so far, it's that when I seek God first, when my trust is in Him, I can pretty much do anything.  The journey is not always easy "for the gate is narrow and the way is hard" (Matthew 7:14), but I guarantee you, it will bring you closer to God, to knowing God.  And really, is there a greater reward than that?

GRACE, IT IS AMAZING

A year and a half ago, I had an amazing experience.  One that changed the direction of my life in ways I didn't even know were possible.  It wasn't an overnight change, though my heart changed overnight.  But it's taken me the better part of a year and a half to absorb, understand, and apply that change to my life.

Yesterday, I was reflecting on part of that experience, a skit.  Now, I am NOT a big skit person.  Honestly, I'd rather walk across burning hot coals than get up in front of a group of people and do anything.  However, I was not alone.  I was surrounded by a group of women, amazing women, that expanded my comfort zone every so slightly and we pulled off a skit, that, in my humble opinion, ROCKED!!

This skit was about grace.  What IS grace?  And how exactly does one make a skit about what grace is??  Glad you asked!!  So, we were in a line.  I had a cup of water, and each of my sisters had an empty cup.  The premise of the skit, was, my cup was full of grace, not the elegant kind, the kind God provides.  As my sister next to me enacted wrongdoing against me, I poured my grace, from God, into her cup.  She, in turn, poured her grace, from God, into the cup of the sister next to her.  On down the line it went, until it reached our curly, redheaded sister, and really, no amount of grace can help her on a humid day!!  (Love you girl!!!)

That word, grace, has stuck with me.  It's echoed in my mind since that day.  The message of God's grace pouring into me so that I could pour it out to others, I "got" that message.  I had knowledge of grace.  I knew the definition!  I saw examples of it throughout scripture!  "I got this grace thing", I thought to myself!  Very proudly too.

For 72 hours, starting Thursday, September 22, 2016, I began praying.  Before bed, second thing in the morning, and around mid-day.  I was praying for someone, for 29 someones, and roughly 90 other someones.  There is power in prayer, if anyone tells you otherwise, it's a lie from the pit of hell.  It was a good exercise for me.  Even though I have always prayed, I am learning to be strategic in my prayer.  Yes, I can blanket the world in a prayer for peace.  But I am learning to target my enemy, and the enemy that attacks (or at least tries to) others.

Boldly I declared, in the name of Jesus Christ my Lord and Savior, that the enemy had no power over these 120 someones.  I stood in unison with countless others declaring the exact same thing.

"Again, truly I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything they ask for, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven.  For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them."

- Matthew 18:19-20

Fun Fact:  When we pray for others, it not only helps them, it also helps us.

As the hours ticked by, even if I wasn't in prayer, I was thinking about the work God was doing in the lives of these people I was praying for.  For some time, I sat remembering my experience, recalling the awesomeness of seeing God show up in ways I never knew were even possible!  Remembering the burning of my spirit, the beginning of something I could not have even imagined.  What I envisioned a year and a half ago, was.not what God had planned for me...

You see, God has a plan.  For each and every one of us, He has known His purpose for our lives even before they began!  I will be the first to admit, that while walking in that plan, I was completely and utterly lost!!!  I'm a planner for certain things.  I like logic, I like to make sense of things, I like to solve puzzles.  (Hmm, there's a bunch of I in that sentence, isn't there?)  Let me tell you a secret.  Let me tell you the one thing (though there are many more) you need to know.  God.has.a.plan.  And I'll tell you something else, His plan is perfect, it comes in perfect timing.

Well, the last year and a half of my life seemed like a horrible plan!!  I was on a path I did.not. want to be on!  I was going in the complete opposite direction I wanted to go!!  (Hmm, there's that I again.)  The further I walked down this path, the more I had to rely on my faith.  And it seemed, the more I relied on my faith, the harder the path became.  There were times I literally did not have the strength to take one more step forward.  That is when the Lord carried me.

Yesterday, through discussions in Sunday School, and the sermon in church, God decided I needed to see my path in hindsight.  I went back to the beginning, that skit.  As God led me, as I submitted to His plan, over and over, I saw the purpose of each and ever turn.  The puzzle pieces fell into place, and I saw a beautiful picture.

Grace.

"But by the grace of God I am what I am, and his grace to me was not without effect.  No, I worked harder than all of them - yet not I, but the grace of God that was with me."

- 1 Corinthians 15:10

You see, as I walked down this path, there were times I could do nothing more than stand in God's grace.  There was nothing, no one else that could sustain me and save me from the circumstances of that particular season of my life.  God did not break me down.  No.  The enemy tried to break me.  Shatter me, destroy the very woman God designed me to be.  What God did do, is love me.  Cherish me.  He was faithful.  He was my rock, my firm foundation.  He prepared me to receive His blessing of grace.

I "got" the skit.  The message we conveyed was pretty simple.  Let God's grace fill your cup, and you can pour it out on others.  Simple, right?  (Insert warm smile here).  I had no idea.

After 72 hours focused on a someone, on many specific someones, but one above all others, God gave me, me, a blessing.  Over the last year and a half, He brought me to exactly where I needed to be so I could bring glory to Him.  I stood, firmly in HIS grace, and let it pour out of me, wash over me, flow through me.  My spirit was cleansed of strongholds with deep roots.  Things that have blocked me from being the woman God designed me to be.  It was a gift I was not expecting to receive, I was not worthy to receive.  But through Jesus Christ my Savior, I was able to receive this most precious gift.  I was able to destroy a wall that had taken years to build.  It is gone.  I am no longer chained to that fear.  

As I go forward on this path, I know the depth and capacity of my love, because I know the depth and capacity of love my Father has for me.  I know He will never leave me, nor forsake me.  His love is perfect, it will sustain me.  And I know, I know with my knower, that there is nothing the enemy can do to take that love away from me.  It is mine!  I claim it in the mighty name of Jesus!  

I am so very thankful for each and ever step of the path that brought me to this point.  Had even one of those steps been different, I would not be able to receive God's amazing grace.  I would not have been able to pour that grace over another someone that is so very special, so cherished, and so loved by me.

To God be the glory!!  De Colores.