Wives, Submit to God

Part II:

Wives, Submit to God

Are you ready for the punch?  Are you ready to swallow that pill, even if it’s bitter?  Good, I’m glad you are up for the challenge!!

In my previous blog (Part I:  It’s Okay To Be a Woman), my hope is that you discovered the importance of being the woman God designed you to be.  And if you aren’t sure of that woman, I encourage you to become sure of her.  I also hope you realize the importance of seeking God first in everything you do.  This seemingly small shift had a huge impact on me. 

By learning the power of strategic prayer, in seeking to know God (not just understand what He is) and be able to discern His voice, I discovered I was a lot stronger than I ever imagined.  For years I hid behind a mask of strength, my mask of strength.  The problem with a mask is that it prevents people from seeing who we really are.  It also kept me from knowing God.  While wearing this mask, I came across as uncaring, unloving, so strong that I needed no one.   In various seasons of my life, I didn’t have the time, or the choice, not to be strong.  But oh how lonely it was hiding behind that mask.

I will never for get the light-bulb moment that I realized just how much my mask was hurting me, keeping me from being the woman God designed me to be. 

1 Corinthians 13:4-7  “Love is patient, love is kind.  It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”

This scripture was not new to me; I’d read it many many times.  However, I was now reading it with a “clean heart and renewed spirit”.  It was like reading a check list of who I am, but…I’m not sure the people around me would have checked of many, if any, of those qualities they saw in me.  Being the logical person I am(sometimes) I couldn’t just blame everyone around me, claiming it was them not seeing me.  No, that gentle, yet thundering voice inside me was now speaking loud and clear.

Finally, I submitted to God; begged forgiveness for rejecting the woman He designed me to be.  I took off my mask, and am stepping into my true nature, being obedient to God’s command.  Easy?  No.  Simple?  Yes.  You see, if we rely on our own resources, we will fall short every.time.  But when we wholly submit to God’s plan, we are renewed!!  We will mount up with wings like eagles!! (Isaiah 40:31)  I am a strong woman, and to GOD be the glory!!!

Wives, we must be willing to submit and obey God.  Period.

Wives, if you are unwilling to submit and obey God, just stop reading now…because you will read what I’m about to say, and you will gag on the pill that must be swallowed.  Honestly, I’m still drinking, from my cup of grace, to wash this pill down.

1 Peter 3:1-5  “Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives…it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.  For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to adorn themselves.  They submitted themselves to their own husbands…”

Ephesians 5:22 “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.”

Ephesians 5:24 “Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.”

This is what God commands of a wife.  Easy? ~insert hysterical laugh here~  Um, NO!

Something I like to do, because I’m a big nerd and a bit stubborn…is to get a clear definition of a word that I get caught up on, and muddles either what I’m trying to convey, or what I’m trying to understand.  So, let’s unmuddle.

Submit – (verb) to give over or yield to the power or authority of another; to subject to some kind of treatment or influence; to defer to another’s judgment, opinion, decision

Ok, that’s pretty clear.  And you know what?  I have zero problem submitting to God!!  Because His is worthy, mighty, faithful, loving, peaceful, joyous, awesome!  I know in my knower that wonderful things happen when I submit to Him, I’ve seen them, experienced them.  So, yeah, it’s a no brainer there.

But...submit to my husband???  Seriously??  Have we warp back in time?

Well, yes, we kinda have.  We’ve gone back to the very beginning, where God created a woman to be a helpmeet (noun - anything that aids or assists; a companion and helper, a spouse).  That is what we were designed to be.

Follow me down this path, if you would:

Ever worked with a team that has two leaders?  Or two people that want to be leaders?  Ever danced with someone and both of you were trying to lead the steps?  Ever had kids that get one message from dad and another message from mom and end up in trouble because they had two different messages?  Ever had two head chefs in the same kitchen?  None of those situations go smoothly or end well.  Someone has to take the lead position.  Someone has to follow. 

We even have dominant hands, arms, feet and legs.  Even our brains have dominant sides! All of them, seamlessly, work together without effort.  Our strong arm or leg will do most of the heavy lifting, while the other arm is there to support and stabilize.  It doesn’t matter if we work out of the right side of our brain (creative, imaginative, insightful) or the left side of our brain (logic, language, writing).  We have the proclivity to be more of one side than the other, but without the other nothing would come to fruition.

Look at your life.  Somewhere in your life story, you see the benefits of having both dominate and subordinate features.  Your dominant arm is pretty useless without the support of the other.  Your creativity would be lost if you couldn’t transfer it into words or on paper.  Even your logic would trap you if you couldn’t think outside of the box!  It is simple and easy to thank God for the way we are designed.  Once I discovered, and understood, the way God designed me, I became my biggest fan!!  I love being me!!

God created marriage in the same way He designed our body and our brain to work in unison.  He gave clear guidance as to how this unit will function at peek capacity.  Once you discover, and understand, the way God designed marriage, you will see how simple it is.  Though, honestly, it won’t be easy.

Matthew 7:13-14 “Enter by the narrow gate.  For the gate is wide and the way is easy that leads to destruction, and those who enter by it are many.  For the gate is narrow and the way is hard that leads to life, and those who find it are few.”

“The way is hard that leads to life”…well, then the question is…do you want life in your marriage? 

It's Okay To Be a Woman

Part I:

It's Okay To Be a Woman

Recently, I started another book study.  To this point, my studies have been about me, how to love me, how to pray strategically, how to discern the Voice of God.  This journey started a little over a year ago, and honestly, it has been one of the hardest yet most rewarding journeys I've been on to date.

When this journey began, I had no real idea where it would lead.  What I wanted was to know me, and more important than that, I wanted to know God.  Not just understand God, or understand His Work.  I wanted to have an intimate relationship with God, the kind I had when I was a child.

My favorite song as a young girl was "This Little Light of Mine".  I always felt that little light, always.  As I grew up though, that darn bushel kept hiding my light.  That little light still burned, never went out, but that bushel suddenly became a safe place for me and my light.

In March of 2015, that bushel was lifted!!  To God be the glory.  While that little light didn't burst into a giant flame...it was now free of its hiding place.  That "safe" place, that stronghold, was cracked, big time!!  My soul was on fire...and I had no idea that soon, it would be ablaze!

So finally, light burning brightly, me confident in the woman God designed me to be, I decided to branch out, find a book that takes me out of my comfort zone...and boy did I find one!!  MOTIVATING YOUR MAN GOD'S WAY:  Discovering One Work That Energizes Your Husband to Love, by Dr. Emerson & Sarah Eggerichs.  Within the first few pages of this book, I knew I needed to share this experience, this new level of understand about the woman God designed, and commanded, me to be.

I feel the...need...to make a few caveats:

• This post is specifically to Christian wives, though it's not intended only for Christian wives.
• This post will have Biblical truths which are not my opinion or interpretation.
• This post will have my opinion and interpretation.
• This post will absolutely, without doubt, make a feminist not only balk, but also completely reject most of it, and very possibly become offended.
• This post is not for husbands, of any variety.  However, it is entirely possible some of it, if not all of it, resonates and even inspires them to give me a virtual "high five".
• This post is about my personal conviction to becoming a godly woman.
• This post may not pertain to you.  So if I say "we" and you don't fall into that category, I ain't talking to you.

Ok, now that I have that out of the way, I am going to continue with not one thought as to how someone is going to perceive this.

Fellow wives, we are doing it wrong.  We are going at this marriage thing from the absolute wrong angle.  And, get this, we are committing a sin against God!! ~insert "oh my" face here~

Wait.  WHAT??  What did I just say???

Yep.  I said it.  We, us wives, are sinners.  We are being disobedient to God in what he commands us to do and be.

(Pause for shock and horror).

(Pause again for you to re-read what I just claimed).

(Pause, yet again, to give you time to pray and welcome the Holy Spirit into this "conversation").

So, before I get straight to the punch, I find it important to lay the ground work.  Let me give you a picture of how I (important personal pronoun there) view society as we live in it today.

Prior to August 18, 1920, women did not hold the same rights as men.  I suppose one could say we were oppressed?  I suppose it could also be seen as if we were forced to submit to men.  Several very brave women and a few male supporters held the first women's rights convention in 1848.  Two years later, in 1850, the very first National Women's Rights Convention was held in Worcester, Massachusetts.  For seventy years, 70!! years, some amazing women did some amazing things to change the face of history.  I thank them.

As most ideals do, the direction of this movement changed.  While I (see that personal pronoun again?) do see the good in change, I can also see where it becomes...misdirected.  There now seems to be a certain level of militancy towards forcing society to declare, and agree, women are equal to men.  Not only in the eyes of the law, but in the eyes of pretty darn near everything.

Now, here is my first line of thought that could easily be rejected and dismissed.  While, I do agree, that women deserve every right under the law that is (was) freely given to men.  I do not, however, agree that we are equal to men.  Hold on, hold on, don't get your panties in a bunch!  There will be plenty of time for that.  What I mean is, pound for pound, women are not created to be like men, therefore what we do equal will never be equal to what a man equals.  It's very similar to comparing flowers to car parts.  Their basic functions are just different.  If you have an issue with that, I suggest you take it up with God.  I'll also point out, in case you've forgotten in the moment, God loves us all equally.  He views our sin equally.

There seems to be, in my observation, a desperate need for some women to feel they are equal to men.  Honestly, I don't understand that need in the least.  I mean, why??  In my logic, I'm not a man, so...it doesn't even occur to me to compare myself with a man.  Outside of the incredibly obvious outward differences, there are some pretty vast differences in our inner workings as well.  Not only do I acknowledge that my physical attributes are completely different, my very nature is completely different!!

For example:

• While I've often thought I'd like the convenience of writing my name in the snow, or not have to, in desperation, find a tree and triple check there is NO ONE even remotely able to see behind said tree...I would be completely unwilling to give up my ability to carry and birth children.
• Without hesitation or doubt, I do.not.ever. want, nor desire, the ability to fart and analyze the smell.  Even more, I never want my friends to be OK with sharing their farts with me!  Ever.
• I love and embrace that, by nature, I am peaceful.  While I will, and can, protect and defend, I'm most happy when I can just love and laugh.  I don't perceive things by level of threat.
• It is a blessing that I do not feel pressed to perform, pursue, provide, or protect.  Do I want to do those things?  Of course.  But the feeling of it being my soul obligation is lacking.

These are just a few things I think of when I consider being "equal" to a man.  I don't want to be a man!  I like being a woman!!  I am thankful I am a woman because men don't make sense (to me, as a woman)!!

Genesis 2:18  "The LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him".

So, here God had created Adam, then realized "Hmm...maybe it's not good for him to be alone".  Now, let me tell you, as a mother of three boys...It is NEVER good for them to be alone!!  Not alone by themselves, and certainly not alone together!  I've been privy to watching grown men be alone..."Hey y'all!!  Watch this!!".  It almost never ends well.

Adam went through all the creatures God had created, and not one of them fit the bill.  (Genesis 2:19-20).

Genesis 2:22-23  "Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.  The man said,  “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman’, for she was taken out of man".

Out of all the other creatures, Adam chose this one to call woman.  Taken from his own flesh, created to be his helper.  You catch that??  Doesn't say to be his servant...it says helper.  If we focus on this word, helper, and stop applying our own feelings of inadequacy, it may make the pill I am about to share with you a bit easier to swallow.

Before we get to the pill, let me take a moment to address something I find important in what I just said.  "Stop applying our own feelings of inadequacy...", this is something I struggle with.  Something I've always struggled with.  There is a social "norm", a worldly definition of what makes us "good", acceptable women.  I had, and have, some pretty amazing women as role models...Women that raised me, influenced me, gave me a picture of what I wanted to be.  Then, of course, there's societies model.  In my esteem the societal model is of much less value, but really can have a bigger impact because we see it every.single.day.  This fictitious model is so utterly unrealistic sometimes it makes me angry.  If anything should be banned, it should be this unattainable image of what makes a "good" woman.  The negative impact it has on women, starting as young girls following us on into adulthood, is staggering.  As if we aren't hard enough on ourselves, we now have lies coming from every direction that support our own feelings of inadequacy!

That's exactly what they are, lies from the pit of hell.  It wasn't until I decided to reject these lies, and start seeking the woman God created me to be, that I began to see things from a different light.  First, I had to learn about the woman God created me to be...positive and negative qualities which make me who I am.  Once I saw who I was, I began to love that who!...not only celebrating the positive, but embracing the negative.  I highly recommend a book, Meet the New You:  A 21-Day Plan for Embracing Fresh Attitudes and Focused Habits for Real Life Change, by Elisa Pulliam.  It took me way more than 21 days!!  But the impact of this book really was life changing.  Not only did this book show me, in fact, that God designed me with purpose, but it motivated me to start liking that woman.  To find and claim that purpose.  To stop looking outwardly for acceptance, and stand fully in the grace of God.

1 Corinthians 15:10  "But by the grace of God I am what I am, and his grace to me was not without effect.  No, I worked harder than all of them - yet not I, but the grace of God that was with me".

Wives, it is of utmost importance that we discover the woman God created us to be.  This woman absolutely will.not. look like any other woman you know, have see, or have heard of.  It is not "one size fits all" kind of thing.  It is unique and specific to you, just like your fingerprint.

If you don't know that woman, find her.  When you meet that woman, embrace her, love her.  Know that she is a daughter of the One True King!  Then, submit that woman to Christ.  Let HIS Holy Spirit consume you.  Trust me, believe me, when I say:  If you do this, what I'm about to share with you will flow out of you so easily and readily.  You may even look forward to the challenge (because yes, it will be a challenge).

Above all the things I've discovered on my journey so far, it's that when I seek God first, when my trust is in Him, I can pretty much do anything.  The journey is not always easy "for the gate is narrow and the way is hard" (Matthew 7:14), but I guarantee you, it will bring you closer to God, to knowing God.  And really, is there a greater reward than that?

GRACE, IT IS AMAZING

A year and a half ago, I had an amazing experience.  One that changed the direction of my life in ways I didn't even know were possible.  It wasn't an overnight change, though my heart changed overnight.  But it's taken me the better part of a year and a half to absorb, understand, and apply that change to my life.

Yesterday, I was reflecting on part of that experience, a skit.  Now, I am NOT a big skit person.  Honestly, I'd rather walk across burning hot coals than get up in front of a group of people and do anything.  However, I was not alone.  I was surrounded by a group of women, amazing women, that expanded my comfort zone every so slightly and we pulled off a skit, that, in my humble opinion, ROCKED!!

This skit was about grace.  What IS grace?  And how exactly does one make a skit about what grace is??  Glad you asked!!  So, we were in a line.  I had a cup of water, and each of my sisters had an empty cup.  The premise of the skit, was, my cup was full of grace, not the elegant kind, the kind God provides.  As my sister next to me enacted wrongdoing against me, I poured my grace, from God, into her cup.  She, in turn, poured her grace, from God, into the cup of the sister next to her.  On down the line it went, until it reached our curly, redheaded sister, and really, no amount of grace can help her on a humid day!!  (Love you girl!!!)

That word, grace, has stuck with me.  It's echoed in my mind since that day.  The message of God's grace pouring into me so that I could pour it out to others, I "got" that message.  I had knowledge of grace.  I knew the definition!  I saw examples of it throughout scripture!  "I got this grace thing", I thought to myself!  Very proudly too.

For 72 hours, starting Thursday, September 22, 2016, I began praying.  Before bed, second thing in the morning, and around mid-day.  I was praying for someone, for 29 someones, and roughly 90 other someones.  There is power in prayer, if anyone tells you otherwise, it's a lie from the pit of hell.  It was a good exercise for me.  Even though I have always prayed, I am learning to be strategic in my prayer.  Yes, I can blanket the world in a prayer for peace.  But I am learning to target my enemy, and the enemy that attacks (or at least tries to) others.

Boldly I declared, in the name of Jesus Christ my Lord and Savior, that the enemy had no power over these 120 someones.  I stood in unison with countless others declaring the exact same thing.

"Again, truly I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything they ask for, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven.  For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them."

- Matthew 18:19-20

Fun Fact:  When we pray for others, it not only helps them, it also helps us.

As the hours ticked by, even if I wasn't in prayer, I was thinking about the work God was doing in the lives of these people I was praying for.  For some time, I sat remembering my experience, recalling the awesomeness of seeing God show up in ways I never knew were even possible!  Remembering the burning of my spirit, the beginning of something I could not have even imagined.  What I envisioned a year and a half ago, was.not what God had planned for me...

You see, God has a plan.  For each and every one of us, He has known His purpose for our lives even before they began!  I will be the first to admit, that while walking in that plan, I was completely and utterly lost!!!  I'm a planner for certain things.  I like logic, I like to make sense of things, I like to solve puzzles.  (Hmm, there's a bunch of I in that sentence, isn't there?)  Let me tell you a secret.  Let me tell you the one thing (though there are many more) you need to know.  God.has.a.plan.  And I'll tell you something else, His plan is perfect, it comes in perfect timing.

Well, the last year and a half of my life seemed like a horrible plan!!  I was on a path I did.not. want to be on!  I was going in the complete opposite direction I wanted to go!!  (Hmm, there's that I again.)  The further I walked down this path, the more I had to rely on my faith.  And it seemed, the more I relied on my faith, the harder the path became.  There were times I literally did not have the strength to take one more step forward.  That is when the Lord carried me.

Yesterday, through discussions in Sunday School, and the sermon in church, God decided I needed to see my path in hindsight.  I went back to the beginning, that skit.  As God led me, as I submitted to His plan, over and over, I saw the purpose of each and ever turn.  The puzzle pieces fell into place, and I saw a beautiful picture.

Grace.

"But by the grace of God I am what I am, and his grace to me was not without effect.  No, I worked harder than all of them - yet not I, but the grace of God that was with me."

- 1 Corinthians 15:10

You see, as I walked down this path, there were times I could do nothing more than stand in God's grace.  There was nothing, no one else that could sustain me and save me from the circumstances of that particular season of my life.  God did not break me down.  No.  The enemy tried to break me.  Shatter me, destroy the very woman God designed me to be.  What God did do, is love me.  Cherish me.  He was faithful.  He was my rock, my firm foundation.  He prepared me to receive His blessing of grace.

I "got" the skit.  The message we conveyed was pretty simple.  Let God's grace fill your cup, and you can pour it out on others.  Simple, right?  (Insert warm smile here).  I had no idea.

After 72 hours focused on a someone, on many specific someones, but one above all others, God gave me, me, a blessing.  Over the last year and a half, He brought me to exactly where I needed to be so I could bring glory to Him.  I stood, firmly in HIS grace, and let it pour out of me, wash over me, flow through me.  My spirit was cleansed of strongholds with deep roots.  Things that have blocked me from being the woman God designed me to be.  It was a gift I was not expecting to receive, I was not worthy to receive.  But through Jesus Christ my Savior, I was able to receive this most precious gift.  I was able to destroy a wall that had taken years to build.  It is gone.  I am no longer chained to that fear.  

As I go forward on this path, I know the depth and capacity of my love, because I know the depth and capacity of love my Father has for me.  I know He will never leave me, nor forsake me.  His love is perfect, it will sustain me.  And I know, I know with my knower, that there is nothing the enemy can do to take that love away from me.  It is mine!  I claim it in the mighty name of Jesus!  

I am so very thankful for each and ever step of the path that brought me to this point.  Had even one of those steps been different, I would not be able to receive God's amazing grace.  I would not have been able to pour that grace over another someone that is so very special, so cherished, and so loved by me.

To God be the glory!!  De Colores.

Tattoos and Walgreens

So, I get it. Not everyone likes tattoos. But I have to share this because, well, God is awesome!

I went into Walgreens yesterday. Got my stuff, went to the checkout counter. The cashier was a nice young lady. Since this tattoo is clearly obvious, but not easy to read at a glance, she asked.

My, having looked at this tattoo many, many, many times, proudly stuck out my arm and read it out loud. Her reply was "but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God". <3

Honestly, tears came to my eyes, and I told her it's a reminder I NEED almost every day. Somehow, the conversation went on, and the movie War Room came up. I mentioned I just started creating my "War Porch", and she praised God, and we high fived.

Then I quickly realized the line forming behind me, and thanked God myself for allowing this stranger and me to witness, albeit briefly, to them.

To God be the Glory.