It has been 168 days since my last blog. I am sure ALL of you have been waiting on pins and needles...whom ever ALL is...
Today is a day to write down, it is the first day, in (does more math) 7 years, 3 months and 13 days that I have been home alone. Well, kinda.
For over 10 years, I have been a full time, stay at home, mom. Austin, my oldest is 10 (almost 11!). When he was 2.5 he went to Mother's Day Out for two hours twice a week in the Spring. He started Montessori school at 3.5 and went from 9AM to 2PM five days a week. Then, Mav was born May 10, 2004, thus began my run of full time mom. A couple of years later, my wonderful surprise, William, was born. Austin had moved on to Kindergarten, Mav was still "little" and at home with me. So now, I had one in school and two at home.
Two years later, Mav started Pre-k for half a day, so I was down to one child at home. Which, as those of you that have multiples know, one is more time consuming than two. With two, they have each other, with one, they want you. It was actually nice, because William being my youngest, I'd not had the opportunity to have just me and him time. Austin got the most Mama Time, Mav had his fair share, but William had always shared his time with me with at least one of The Brothers. So I enjoyed my one-on-one time with William. He missed his brothers, a lot, and looked forward to them coming home from school. It was hardest when Mav started Kinder because he was gone ALL day. William spent a lot of time asking when The Brothers would be home.
Last year, William started Pre-K. He was thrilled!! He got to ride the bus to school and home from school with The Brothers!! He was big now! Of course, he was still my baby...but I tried to keep that quiet. William had a crash course in telling time last year. And I have to admit, I failed. From the time he woke up, it was "It's time to go to school", "No son, it's 7:30AM, The Brothers just left, you won't go until 11AM. That's when the bus comes". Every.single.day.
I have been looking forward to this time, with both excitement and dread. The whole Summer, in the back of my mind, I knew they would all start school. My stoic 10 year old, who is already a Tween with loads of angst and self doubt, is starting 5th Grade. The sweetest little blue eyed boy evah!, 7 year old Maverick started 2nd Grade full of wonder and excitement. And William, my baby, who has been asking how many days 'til school for about two weeks, is in Kinder. From 7AM until 3PM, they will not be in this house. It's quiet. And I'm somewhat lost.
For over 10 years, I have defined myself as full time mom. Now, I find myself full time mom, with eight hours of child free time. EEK!! I am beginning to realize I'm going to miss them. Before, I didn't have time to miss them!! I felt "on" all the time, and, honestly, it was hard some days. Being at work, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, well, few people know how that feels. Mom's don't get sick days, we don't get vacation time, we don't get lunch breaks or even 15 minute breaks for that matter. If you have little one's at home, unless you lock the bathroom door behind you, you have no free time. It is not a job any of us would change, no matter what the salary. But don't think, for a second, it's "easy". We don't sit at home all day, on the couch, eating bonbons and watching Oprah. Our job is just as taxing as those of you that go to work, we are at work, but we actually never leave...We can't leave work at the office, it's here, with us, all the time.
So, today, after 2661 days of being full time mom, I get a break for eight hours. I say that and laugh, now I get to be a maid, chef and dog keeper...But today, I'm going to sit, and try not to cry, about my boys growing up. Suddenly, I realize they are! And damnit, they are all doing it at the same time!! What.the.hell??? Suddenly I don't want to spend all day crocheting, or knitting, or sitting on the couch eating bonbons and watching Oprah!! I want them all to be little again, at home, bugging the ever loving daylights out of me. Demanding my time, asking for a bizillion goldfish, or something to drink. Saying they are hungry...just not for what I have for them to eat. Crawling up next to me, leaning their head on my shoulder, and just being near me. That's what I want. Today, at least...I can TOTALLY get use to this Home Alone thing!! Just give me a second while I ugly cry...